Well Intentioned

"We judge ourselves

based on our motives

while others judge us

based on our actions."

-Dan Gabor

Sometimes there is a great disconnect from our motives to our actions.

We can be so well intentioned, and still come across hurtful or offensive.

If you've ever been on an overseas mission trip,

you'll know what I mean by that.

Or have you ever been in charge of an

event/lesson plan/etc that completely flopped?

Then you also know what I mean.

Or how about in your home or your marriage?

(Did you just get a knot in your tummy too?)

I know that I can be the most well intentioned person at times,

wanting to fix habits, speak encouragement, clean/tidy that one room, get the to-do list finally done, or go out of my way to do something nice for my spouse...

....but then excuses come and I make other priorities.

Every way of a man is right in his own eyes,

but the Lord weighs the heart.

-Proverbs 21:2

Where your treasure is,

there your heart will be also.

-Matthew 6:21

Yes, the Lord weighs the heart and sees our intentions and motives.

In doing so, He also sees our priorities and where we place our treasure.

Sometimes, having the right motivations can be good enough.

Sometimes, we need to have the follow through as well.

And there is grace for when we don't meet our standards.
There is also grace for when we don't meet God's standards - which is a much more important goal. But let's remember that the disconnect from our words/intentions to our actions/follow through does have an impact on others.

Go in peace to love and serve the Lord.:.

This post is linked up to TimeWarp Wife's Titus 2sday Link up!

.:.Three Strategies to Conflict Management.:.

When a situation arises, I find there are three strategies to conflict management one can choose.

One approach would be to magnify the issue. We can become so focused on the problem, replaying it over and over in our heads, analyzing every angle. This has the very real potential to overwhelm us and makes working through the issue daunting or even paralyzing. It focuses our attention on all the possible affects any action could have, rather than the issue itself. Magnifying the issue can take a toll on our performance in other areas and situations too.

Another option one may choose would be to minimize the problem. This tactic ignores the effects the problem has had on us and others. This buries the issue, which results in buried feelings that surface later in possibly even more intense and harmful ways.

In the moment, I find myself gravitating to one of these strategies, but I’ve discovered, like many before me, that there is a third option. When both of these extremes are held in tension, we are able to focus on the issue with perspective.

We are then able to acknowledge both the affects and effects of the situation. This allows the issue to be dealt with in a healthy way and most likely timely manner as well.

This third option is what I would like to strive for….healthy conflict management. I don’t think I know anyone who likes having conflict with peers, colleagues, friends or family. I know I certainly do not. But when I magnify or minimize the issue, I find that the conflict isn’t resolved well. I’ve learned, or rather, am learning, to address the issue head on, no matter how uncomfortable or messy it is.

In this way, I form healthy habits of reaction behavior in conflict management. These patterns are helpful to me and others, both now and as I journey forward in my life with my career, family and friends.

Let's be seeking habits that are healthy, helpful and honoring.

Go in peace to love and serve the Lord.:.

A Music Lesson

As a woman, you have great influence in setting the tone for your home.

You can be sharp with nagging or critical comments;

you can be flat with a lazy or apathetic attitude;

or you can be on key and bring a harmony of joy and peace to your home.

.:.Be someone he wants to come home to.:.

Go in peace to love and serve the Lord.:.