.:.peer co-mentor.:.

Have you ever thought of yourself as a peer co-mentor?

David and Jonathan had a friendship that was worth praying for and pursuing.

It was meaningful and mutually empowering. 

David and Jonathan:

1.They shared: “Jonathan became one in spirit with David” (1 Samuel 18:1)

-a heart to follow God and do His will (14:6, 17:45-47)

-Interests and skills of war (background)

-the same environment in the house and army of Saul

2. They committed: “we have sworn friendship with each other in the name of the LORD” (20:42).

          -to God (Chapter 14)

          -to each other’s best: “Jonathan made a covenant with David because he loved him as himself” (18:3); “Whatever you want me to do, I’ll do for you” (20:4)

          -to each other’s future and family (20:12-17, 42).

3. They experienced:

          -Protection by watching out for each other (Ch. 20)

          -Openness and trust – they could share anything (20:3)

          -Friendship and fellowship (20:42, and generally implied throughout their story)

          -Strength and encouragement in times of difficult: “Jonathan went to David at Horesh and helped him find strength in God” (23:16)

          -Love that was committed to the other’s best, even if it meant personal sacrifice

                   “Don’t be afraid ….My father Saul will not lay a hand on you. You will be king … I will be second to you” (23:17)

          -Sharpening and challenge to follow God

Do you have a friendship like this? I bet each area could always use a bit of strengthening. I’d encourage you to spend a few moments thinking about what area you are doing well in and what area you’d like to focus your energies on. If you’re brave enough, tell your friend what you see them succeeding in. As good friends, it can be tempting to allow suspicion and distrust to form by focusing on your differences. Instead, focus on what you have in common: a common faith, dear and close friendships and a desire to grow into all that God has for you.

Do you realize you are a peer co-mentor?

Go in peace to love and serve the Lord.:.

.:.Disciplining Kids.:.

This past summer after a week of kid's camp, a leader older than I, and parent himself, approached me and said, "Sarah, you're really gifted at disciplining kids."


Thank you, I think?

It got me thinking.... the point of discipline is restoration, not humiliation. Disciplining a child in the moment out of frustration you're experiencing, just because you need a few moment's peace is not the way to go.

That's reacting instead of responding.

When kids react poorly to a sitution, we often find ourselves asking why they are behaving that way. Perhaps they have forgotten who they are.

"We all have moments of spiritual amnesia where we forget we are sons/daughters of the King. It's not a matter of head knowledge but of the heart." -Michelle Anthony

If we're honest, our own poor life choices stem from insecurity, where we too have forgotten who we are, and our worth in the eyes of the King. And further honesty would admit that at one time, we were where those kids are.

Disciplining a child without providing a glimmer of hope about who they were created to be is pointless. Children know right from wrong - especially when they have been wronged.

The goal rather should be partnering with the work God is doing, helping each child see their potential and empowering them to make better and wiser decisions as they grow.

As a parent or children's ministry worker, you have a golden opportunity to facilitate and foster Biblical Discipline:
- a discipline that brings them closer to God rather than pushing them away;
- a discipline that embraces rather than shuns;
- a discipline that extends grace, over legalism.


"Grace understands that the only real solution for our children’s sin is the work of Christ on their behalf. . .  Legalism uses outside forces to help children maintain their moral walk. Their strength is based on the environment they live in. Grace, on the other hand, sees the strength of children by what is inside them—more specifically, Who is inside them." - Tim Kimmel


I've found the conscious parenting page on Facebook to be a great resource for similar daily reminders and some tips.


Go in peace to love and serve the Lord.:.

By The Fruit

When I was younger, I used to think that God was up in heaven eating grapes while He watched our lives on a big screen TV. I figured that if He could see everything I was doing, and if He knew everything about me, then there must be cameras on me at all times. It then, somehow, stood to reason that for every good and bad thing I did, I got a check mark or an 'x' by my name on the whiteboard he held in front of Him. Where did I pick up these ideas?!

Over the years, I've come to realize that He is much more involved than I could have ever imagined. And He knows me more intimately than I know myself. Yet, when He invites me to dance with Him, I withdraw and protest, "But Lord, you don't really know who you're asking. I have stains and blemishes and I'll just embarrass you. You don't want to dance with me." As if He didn't know my faults. And He gently extends His arm to me and asks me to dance again, saying, "Sarah, I know those things, even better than you do, and I still want to dance with you."

This picture of an invitation to dance absolutely astounds me. How can He be so loving and gentle and pursue me with such patience? Especially if He knows how filthy and unworthy I am!
Why is it so hard to accept grace? For me, it's because I have to remove my pride, accept that I'm a sinner saved only by grace, and then accept that God is a bigger 'person' than me because I wouldn't have the love to do for others what He does for me. And that process is hard, because I'm a selfish, sinful person - I was born that way. (Reference to Lady Ga-Ga not intended.)

"The Lord works by the fruit of His Spirit." -Cal MacFarlane

And what are those fruit? They are found in Galations 5 starting at verse 22.
Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.

The Lord works by the Fruit of His Spirit. Therefore, what truly stands to reason, is that He is gentle and patient with us. There is no scoreboard, no cut-throat competition. He lovingly works through those characteristics and develops them in me.

By using the very traits themselves to work them in me, I experience what the fruit I'm bearing should look like in my life. I need to follow the Spirit's example. So whether I'm mentoring youth or teaching kids, I need to be participating in the work that God is already doing in their lives. I need to gently and lovingly come alongside in partnership with God. It is not my responsibility to make sure someone converts to my faith or my opinion of what they should be doing with their life. Instead, I need to bear the fruit of the Spirit, following the example of the Spirit's work in my life: patiently, gently and lovingly coming alongside and speaking truth.

God would rather dance with me than watch me from a distance. He would rather show kindness, goodness and self-control than their counterparts. My beloved works by His expectations.

Oh how He loves us so!

Go in peace to love and serve the Lord.:.

an empowering perspective

The following are quotes from a collection of speeches that Michelle Anthony gave at the Upswing Children's Ministry Conference hosted in Edmonton, AB, Canada in Sept. 2011. The quotes were directed to children's ministry workers but I think they have just as much relevance to parents today. These snippets of her conversation caught my heart's attention and I haven't been the same since.


1. The mind and soul learn differently.


2. Your job in a child's life is to nurture and train the soul.


3. This generation is anemic in soul care. We are soul doctors.


4. The work is not ours, that is up to the Lord. But we need to allow the divine to flow through us to meet those we encounter: our kids, friends, other parents, etc.


5. If you know nothing satifies like Jesus, a lack of faith will fear kids taking part of the world. I don't mean have a lack of boundaries or rules, but if you know they won't be satisfied with the world, why are you scared to let them have a taste of it?


6. Stop saying to kids "Don't love the world". Instead offer kids something more compelling that they can do, like "Love Jesus."


7. When I hoist my sail, I am cooperating with the wind. If I want to change my direction, I take my sail down. Are we cooperating with the Spirit and the work He is doing in our kids' lives?


8. It is so rare to have someone cooperate with the Spirit in this crooked and depraved generation. So much so that when it happens, it glows!


9. God redeems everything. His wind is always blowing.


10. Sometimes we don't turn to God with issues because we think they are too trivial for Him. How that breaks His heart.


11. The end goal is faith. Faith is what Jesus will be looking for when He comes back.
Faith is 1. Conviction 2. Personal surrender of heart 3. Corresponding conduct based on the first two.


12. We want to see kids know God's voice, desire to obey it, and obey it in the power of His Spirit.


13. Inheritance - Passed down - Artifacts - Dishes - Objects with stories - Sentimentality. How are you posturing your heart so as to pass on your faith? ... We need to be in constant communication about everything with God; He is in charge. We need a posture of dependance. Passing on faith from generation to generation was God's idea and design.


14. Where you aim your heart and what you believe determines the outcome of your life for eternity.surrendered life to obedience, where we put God's word into action; a life of being hearers and doers of the word.


15. When we talk about faith, we think to the house built on the rock. What is the rock? It's a surrendered life of obedience marked by putting God's word into action by being hearers and doers of the word.

Go in peace to love and serve the Lord.:.

.:.Workouts.:.

When was the last time you had a really good work out? I'm talking about one of those good-for-the-soul, gave-a-little-extra, feel-on-top-of-the-world-even-though-you-can't-stand-up-anymore workouts. Maybe you went for a run or perhaps you participated in a group class of some kind? I confess I haven't had one of those physical workouts in a while.

But I'm really okay with that ... because recently, I have other muscles that are being toned, worked and pushed: the muscles of my faith. Don't get me wrong, I totally endorse physical activity as a healthy way to release stress, especially during difficult soul journey moments.

But sometimes the soul work the Lord is doing in us requires all of our physical strength too. Perhaps that's why it's so important to be in good shape - so that when our hearts and souls are in those immediate pressure situations, we can draw on the strength we have developed. At the very least, that is most definitely why we need to be strengthening our faith muscles in the off seasons.

So often though, we don't train our faith muscles in the less intense seasons of our heart journeys. Yet, it is in the quiet times where we rest and build up our strength for the times when we are tested. Reading the Bible, seeking the Lord, and practicing spiritual disciplines all contribute to exercising our faith muscles.

Jesus practiced in the off seasons. The Bible says that “Jesus grew in wisdom…” (Luke 2:52). Being fully human, he had to learn and prepare before he too was tested. And He drew on those lessons during his desert temptation - quoting scripture He had spent time memorizing. For a while, I thought that those verses and the strength to resist just magically came to Him because He was fully God. But He was also fully human, and He had to learn. What an amazing example He sets for us. We know firsthand that it’s not as easy as a wave of a magic wand.

When the muscles of our faith are tested,

it looks painful {just like the physical}.

Training is not easy work. It takes motivation, effort and discipline. It’s a very real reality for me that I pretty much need to exert the same amount of effort to psych myself up for a work out that the workout itself will take. But isn’t it true that the worthwhile things take effort?

Our faith muscles need to grow too. At times, it will be painful for us. It’s also painful to watch others go through those seasons – whether it’s our kids, friends, those we work with or other family members. But we have a trainer who knows what He’s doing. We can trust Him. He knows us so much more intimately than we know ourselves.

Are you in a time of training right now? Utilize it. Are you in a time of testing right now? Endure it. God is in control – you can trust that both of these seasons have value, and whatever one you’re currently in, have faith that you will see the other one soon.

Go in peace to love and serve the Lord.:.

Being a Burden Bearer

"A burden shared is a burden halved.
A joy shared is joy doubled."

-Author unknown

If you have a friend going through something difficult and feel lost as to how to care for her, take heart, you are probably doing more than you think.

Below are the five biggest blessings I've received from my burden bearers. These are the lessons I've learned about being a good friend from their example:

1.  Silence.

As a rule: Nothing is okay. What I mean by this is that it is okay to say nothing, because nothing right now in her world is really okay. Silence is wonderful; silence is the path that allows the burden to be transferred. It’s in the silent moments where her heart becomes lighter as yours becomes heavier. Bless your heart, dear friend of the hurting, for placing yourself in that moment. Don't be afraid of the silence. The one hurting knows there is not much to say, but having someone sit in silence {even on the other end of the phone} is truly enough.

2. Saying no.

Say no to hearing all the details – you’re a partial burden bearer – if one person could handle the whole truth, your friend wouldn’t be confiding in you in the first place.

3. Safety

Keep her confidence. Be someone that your friend can share anything with because she knows you won't tell anyone without her permission (with the exception of safety being compromised). But know that if she feels safe, then she won't be guarded; understand that her words may be illogical at times, she may need to vent to gain clarity for herself. Allow her to continue to speak without fear of judgement. Don't allow her to listen to lies; let her ask questions aloud without answering them yourself. And don't jump on the first thing she says that you don't agree with. Being a burden bearer requires trust and a certain amount of bandwidth for your friend to speak her thoughts; she may not agree with everything that comes out of her own mouth at this time, but speaking it aloud will allow her to realize that.

4. Truth.

Speak truth every time you meet. Truth about her worth to God, truth about God's character and truth about the situation. Don't allow her to listen to the lies of the enemy. Speaking truth repeatedly helps the hurting hear God more clearly and silence the lies.

5. Point to God

Finish each meeting well. Pray for her, when you're together, and afterwards. Always point the hurting to depend on God, to look for where He is at work (because He is), and to press in to Him. Point them to scripture. Model trusting the Lord in this time with that particular situation.

Remember that you are a vessel as a burden bearer. And ultimately, you are a partner in God's work. You do this for His glory; He will give you the grace and wisdom you need.

Praise be to the Lord,

to God our Saviour,

who daily bears our burdens.

-Psalm 68:19 



This post is linked to TimeWarp Wife's Titus 2sday Link up too!
This post is linked to WLW's Wednesday Link Up Party. Link up too!

.:.love-led mentoring.:.

Speaking the truth to others in love is hard.
It is so important that our words are love-led and not love-less.

Remember that all people are on a journey.
Look for and seize teachable moments.
Recognize that God is working in you and others in the difficult moments.

Our role is often just to help others see where God is working in them,
so as to encourage them and see them grow.

Keep perspective.
Our battles are spiritual. Christ has victory.

Keep focused on God, wait on Him.
Point others to Him in good and bad times.

Encourage those in difficult times to listen to the Lord who is speaking to them and to soften their hearts as part of their response.

Always speak truth.
Remind them of truth so they will hear God more easily and have lies silenced.

Pray.

Go in peace to love and serve the Lord.:.