Talk about Creativity

By Moira Gardener

Usually when we think of creativity we think of fine arts, works of literature, or perhaps a ballet. But take a look at the first chapter of Genesis. If we think about how we are created in God’s image, and God as a creator, we gain a different understanding of creativity. Creativity means more than artistic endeavour, it means to use our imagination to make something unique. It can be physical like art, or abstract like problem solving. If we take a closer look at Genesis 1 we learn a lot from God himself.

The first two things to notice are God begins with problem solving, and Spirit is present. Before He starts he takes a formless void and makes heaven and earth. This solves the problem of what to put his creations on. The second thing we read is “the Spirit of God hovered over the waters” (Genesis 1:2). Spirit is present from the beginning. Creativity is a spiritual act, its anything imagined and unique coming out of us into the world.
But He didn’t stop there, God continued to act. After this preparation of dispelling a void and introducing Spirit, He began the six days of creation starting with something abstract, light. Every individual has something creative in them which needs to come out; nurture it, encourage it. If God did not share creation there would still be a formless void. If Newton didn’t share his thoughts we would not understand gravity. If the entire artistic community kept their work to themselves the world would be a drab place.

Now we come to the days of creation where God continues with: the sky, land, and sea. He added vegetation; complete with seeds and fruit bearing trees. The sun, moon, and stars appeared followed by birds to fill the air and sea creatures to populate the water. It isn’t until day six, after the animals come to move along the land, that He creates mankind.

We are unique, created in God’s own image with not only a body and mind, but a spirit. We have the ability to solve problems and are designed to be creative and as we exercise our creativity it draws us closer to Him.  We’re also given the job of caring for the rest of creation. Now each of these works in the six days built upon the last; until He put everything of himself into the final creation, mankind. Each day He did something unique and at the end of it all God relaxed.

This is a role model for our own creativity. We begin with something formless and external, adding something within ourselves making creativity a spiritual act. And as we proceed with the act of creating things concrete or abstract, with time and perseverance, we have a body of work. And what is imaged becomes something enjoyed by others. 

One key element in creativity often ignored is the seventh day. We must come away from imaging and creating to rest. Rest comes in the form of not simply stopping but in finding recreation or re – creation; anything that fills us up. Creativity is both a filling up and a pouring out. Both must be addressed.          
How does this apply to teaching children about creativity?
1.      Find their unique imagination (concrete or abstract).
2.      Encourage them to act on their creative gift by nurturing and withholding criticism.
3.      Encourage them in an area they enjoy.
4.      Encourage them to persevere.
Basically once the individual’s unique imagination is found nurture it, then; encourage, encourage, encourage. When there is some mastery and the learner is open some structure might be beneficial, with the right mentor.

RECAP
What: Creativity is anything imaged and unique coming from inside to be shared in community.
When: We create by doing. It is not always something that needs inspiration. We simply act and often it comes out in our action. If we only wait for inspiration, we may never start.
 Where: We create everywhere in our communities. Look around, creativity is in our galleries, our libraries, our buildings, our leaders, our children; especially our children who still have an in tack imagination.
 Who: Everyone who has ever imagined anything.
 How: By finding, nurturing, and encouraging imagination; then acting on it.

 CHECK IT OUT
 Genesis 1:1 to 2:1 – This is the original acts of God as creator.
 Exodus 1:22 – 2:10 - This is about using imagination to find a solution to a problem.
2 Samuel 23 1-2 - Using imagination to do what it is God created you to do. You are unique.
Matthew 5:14-16 – Using imagination to create more good in the world. You are God’s light.

Talk about Responsibility

By Moira Gardener, Edited by Sarah Davidson

The dictionary definition of responsibility in this article refers to “the opportunity or ability to act independently and make decisions without authorization.” In other words how do we help our children grow up so they are not only independent from us but are a positive influence both towards themselves and others? I believe a large part of this involves ownership of things we actually have control of: our words and actions, and the choices we make. 

      Where do our thoughts and actions come from? They come from the heart. Whatever we plant in our heart will come out our mouth and be reflected in our behaviour. So what we say to our children and how we act around them is what they will absorb and eventually reflect back to us. Therefore it’s important to consider what we wish to plant in those young hearts. What will serve them well?

      A good place to start is reflecting on God’s love, and how He has their best interest at heart. It’s also important they know God doesn’t make junk, and as God breathed beings we are His masterpiece. Each of us is special and has been given talents and gifts to enjoy and share with others. To be created by a loving heavenly father is enough, we are enough right now. God will take us as we are and do great things if we let him. But we have to choose it.

      This brings us to choice. Being responsible is a choice. Choice is the brakes to our thoughts and actions. We may think something unkind for example, but even when we have an unkind thought we choose what we do with it. Teaching the concept of taking every thought captive (2 Cor. 10:5) is a tool for life and a way to be responsible with our thoughts. To apply the brakes of choice when the unkind thought pops into our head prevents hurtful actions. This is not an easy one. It means paying attention and often praying to God to take our hurtful thoughts and replace them with His own. 

      Teaching our children to pray is another tool, continuing with our example- when the tongue gets away on us, pray for its taming. The ultimate goal is to make choices for good and choices for God. Look at it this way. Our life is like building a tree house. We can make plans using the materials given to us, find a suitable tree and build a solid house. Or we chose to slap it together any old way using the first tree we see and then play the blame game when it doesn’t work out. (It’s too easy to blame God or others for giving us junky material to build with.) Another choice would be to walk away never building the house at all, claiming it’s not our responsibility. 

      Each one of us is made for a purpose, and we will not have peace until it’s fulfilled. So we can do life the hard way by blaming or giving up; going our own way mistakenly believing we’re junk. Or we can trust God has a master plan for us and chose His way.

One way to be responsible is to believe God wants the best for us, taking the materials of our life and building a solid tree house filled with good thoughts and actions. The result is forward motion. Trust God for He gives us the right materials at the right time for building solid lives. 

      But how do we plant the seed of responsibility in our lives and the lives around us? By acting responsible ourselves, using words to build up, and having clear boundaries about what is acceptable behaviour. Refuse to believe the lies we’re not good enough, have no talent or gift. Decide not to blame God or others.

      Instead step back and try to see what God sees. Then pick up some nails and a hammer and start building. God has the end in mind so leave it to him and choose words that build up, and actions that demonstrate love. The reward for being responsible is trust and freedom. When we do what we say we will do, we earn trust. Trusted individuals are given greater responsibility. In the end you earn the freedom to act independently making your own decisions which hopefully move you forward and bring you closer to God and those around you.

RECAP

What
* Responsibility means owning our words and actions and choosing to do the right thing for a positive outcome.

When
* We become responsible when we do the small things correctly and then earn the trust that we can be responsible for bigger things. In the end responsibility leads to freedom, maturity, and hopefully healthy relationships with God and human kind.

Where
* Responsibility begins in the heart and becomes thoughts and actions. This is why it’s important to hide God’s word in the heart which becomes love in action poured out for building up ourselves and each other.

Who
* We are responsible for ourselves: So own your thoughts, actions, and choices.

Talk about Friendship

By Moira Gardener and Sarah Davidson

Friends, we all need them, but how do we find them? We can act cool and try to break into the ‘in’ crowd, but when we need a real friend, will the ‘in’ crowd be there for us? And how long can we wear the mask we need to wear to be ‘in’, and what if they find out who we really are and reject us? The process sounds pretty stressful to me.

Friends are important because God made us for relationship and who we hang out with does have an impact on us. But God actually intended us to have a close relationship with Him. He wants to be our best friend. He modeled true friendship in the person of Jesus Christ. If we look to people to find our best friend, sometimes the price can be as high as compromising our integrity or values, especially if we’re trying to fake it until we make it. And in those moments, by whose standards are we measuring “making it”?
The most courageous thing we can do is be ourselves. And finding true friends starts by being a real friend. It’s a lot less stressful, and when we make a connection called friendship, chances are it’ll last. Even when it doesn’t, we have Christ who never leaves.

True friendship is a novel concept in our Facebook, tweeting internet society. This begs us to question what real friendship looks like. Making a connection as ourselves (the only thing we have control over) will determine the outcome providing the other person wants our friendship. Let’s turn to Christ for a role model. Christ is kind, trustworthy, loving, forgiving, has clear boundaries, never ditches anyone even when he’s ditched, and always puts the other person first. These are a few of His character qualities.

Being a friend to someone else means practicing all of these things. But I believe it is easier to do when we first have Christ as our best friend and let him help us to grow into the kind of person God wants us to be. Treating others the way we want to be treated is a biblical value and a good place to go after mustering the courage to be ourselves.

Practical qualities for friendship are: agree on how to act towards one another, love each other with a Godly love, welcome each other when you meet, be a trusted confidant, teach and learn from each other, be patient with one another, and adopt a servant’s attitude. This last one means looking out for the others’ best interest and not our own all the time. It’s a pretty tall order!

Even when we have a real friendship, we are human and there are times we will need to forgive each other. Human beings, being imperfect, always let each other down. And when they do, we have a choice to make. Forgiveness is a given if we want to be free of bitterness. But even then do we keep the friendship? It needs to depend on what happened. Do we value the friendship enough to move forward, or do we pick ourselves up and part ways?

Helping children navigate broken friendships can be difficult. Children often make friendships easily. Just spend five minutes at a playground to observe this. We, as adults, could learn a few tips. But when it comes to being hurt by friends, children need our help to walk forgiveness, and to learn how to be a good friend in spite of poor examples.

Another thing about human relationships; even when we are being a friend it doesn’t always mean it will be reciprocated. If the other person doesn’t want to be friends, or treats us poorly we have to be prepared to move on to other people.

But where are friends found? God is aware of our need, and if we prayerfully look to Him, He’ll bring them to us as we live out our lives daily doing activities we love to do. We need to pay attention to those around us looking to meet the needs of others instead of navel gazing.

Bottom Line: Trust God and Christ as our best friend trust he’ll bring the right people into our lives; and be a friend to others.

RECAP

What 

A friend is someone who is trustworthy and treats others as they wish to be treated.

When 

In God’s timing he will bring human friends, in the meantime learn to be a friend.

Where 

Find friends in everyday life doing what you love to do and be aware of others around you instead of navel gazing.

Who

All we have control of is who we are and how we treat others. Christ is our best friend, always there.

Why

We were made for relationship and this is why we need friendships. Once again God desires a relationship with us himself (as best friends).

CHECK IT OUT

• Proverbs 18:21 one good friend is worth more than many who are not. (Paraphrased)
• 1 Peter 4:8-10 … keep loving on another … welcome one another
• Ephesians 4:2 …be patient, bearing one another in love.
• Galatians 5:13 …but through love serve one another.

For more scripture on friendship check http://www.openbible.info/topics/friendship

Talk about Endurance

By Moira Gardener and Sarah Davidson

Boy I sure could use some of this about now. My ‘stick to it mind set has come unstuck. How does this happen? For me it`s rooted in discouragement. So I ask myself if my expectation is realistic. If no, how can I adjust accordingly? If yes, what is stopping me from pressing on? Why has my endurance taken a hike?

The Bible has *89 references about endurance, and encourages us “not to become tired of doing good. At the right time we will gather a crop if we don’t give up” (Galatians 6:9). Endurance is finishing the race, even when the going gets tough. In Wikipedia, endurance is “the ability to exert and remain active for long periods of time, as well as the ability to resist, withstand, recover from and have immunity to trauma, wounds or fatigue.”

After pondering this from a Christian point of view, I believe endurance is choosing to persevere in our faith and trust in God in order to rise above the situation, no matter what life throws at us.

Why not just take the easy way out and quit? After all isn’t there a time when enough is enough? We need to realize God sees the end result while we only see pieces. We can’t see the rewards until we look back after the race is finished. So faith and trust in God is crucial.  When we endure, we’ll gain stronger character qualities like patience, a confident ‘I can do’ attitude, and a closer relationship with God.

Endurance can also be for someone else’s sake, as an act of love. When I think of an enduring individual, I think of the movie “Iron Will”. The move is based on the true story of Will Stoneman who endures a gruelling dog sled race to save the family farm from financial ruin.

One of the greatest love stories about endurance is how Christ endured the crucifixion so we can live with God for eternity.

How can we endure? It begins with trusting and having faith in God’s love for us. He has our best interest at heart, and never leaves us. If we look at the apostle Paul, while in jail he rose above his circumstance by singing praises to the Lord. So, what are some tools we can use when we are in the thick of it?

• Choose to persevere in our faith and trust in God
• Believe He works all things for our good
• Reflect on how far you have come, remembering He is always with us.
• Choose an attitude of gratitude
• Try to see things from Gods’ eternal perspective
• Start with the end in mind and decide if the goal is worthy. If it is, write it down and post it somewhere you can see.
• It helps when the goal is bigger than ourselves.
• Think about how the end result will be beneficial to you and others
• Some circumstances are difficult and others can be excruciatingly hard. And while we do not know the tough roads God has called others to walk, we do know God never gives us more than we can bear and He will provide the way out in His perfect timing. In the end, we will become eternal winners.

  RECAP

  WHAT:

  Endurance is the ability to finish when the going gets tough.
  

  WHEN:

  Always.
  

  WHERE:

  Throughout our lives at work, play, home, everywhere.
  

  WHO:

  All of us.
  

  WHY:

  It is God’s building block to:
• Strengthen character (Ex. patience, confidence … )
• Bring Wisdom – to learn what to do for next time
• Increase faith and trust in knowing God sees the end and knows where we are going even when we don’t
• Build friendship with God as our best friend who is all loving, and yes, sometimes it’s a tough love.
• To empower us to be a friend to others-walking alongside them while they go through a similar circumstance.
•  

Talk about Humility

By Moira Gardener and Sarah Davidson

Children automatically know how to be all about themselves and encouraging them to step back to see the bigger pictures is challenging. Humility in our culture is neither encouraged nor looked at as something positive, and is often misconstrued as grovelling. 

In actual fact, humility means being gracious by choosing to put others first and giving up what you think you deserve. It means recognizing that the needs of others are as important as our own and it opens us up to growth and love.

Humble acts come in all sizes and shapes - from the person who stands aside to let the elderly man in line at McDonalds, to the nurse who looks past an inconsiderate patient and does their job with a smile, or a waiter who listens to a customer complaint and cheerfully remedies the situation. Whether the action is small or large the bottom line is that humility is serving others with a good attitude even if they may not appreciate it.
As followers of Jesus the goal is to be like Christ. He knew if he died on the cross, the Holy Spirit would be released giving everyone the option to have Christ’s spirit inside them. He knew his action covered our sin, opening up a direct chat-line to God.

Humility is found when we step back and see things as Christ sees them, on an eternal scale.  When we serve others with kindness and love we are serving God by being his hands and feet.  It’s when we love everyone as much as we love ourselves (Mark 12:31) we can be free to shift our focus from navel gazing to unconditional love in action.

One thing to note: humility is not self-abasement it is acknowledging there is a power greater than ourselves. Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it’s thinking about yourself less.
How can we teach our children this? Model it, talk about it, and pray for it.

RECAP

WHAT:

Humility is putting others first by giving up what you think you deserve

WHY:

To become more Christ like and be God’s hands and feet on earth.

WHEN:

Whenever needed

WHO:

Everyone

HOW:

• Seeing the eternal picture as Christ does.
• Choosing to do the loving thing
• Serving others with a good attitude
• Model it, talk about it, and pray for it.

CHECK IT OUT

• John 18:12 – 20:23 -The Easter Story.
• Philippians 2:3 -Put others first.
• Mark 12:31 Love your neighbour as yourself. Note: Your neighbour is everyone
• Proverbs 15:33 The fear (respect) for God

Talk about Forgiveness

Written by Moira Gardener / Edited by Sarah Davidson

Kids know when they’ve been wronged. Children have a very strong sense of ‘fair’, especially when they feel they’ve been treated unjustly. Helping children ‘let it go’, forgive and move on is an important step in their development into emotionally mature adults.

Forgiveness means choosing to let go of the bad thoughts and feelings about someone or something that happens. Forgiveness is being truly sorry about an action and having the courage to ask to be let off the hook for what you did; or letting someone else off the hook for something they did to you.
But why forgive? To be free of the anger and ugly emotions that will twist us all up inside turning us into sad angry people. Forgiveness is where healing starts. Once we truly let go of what happened we will feel lighter and be free to heal our hurts.

In a Christian belief system we forgive one another just as Christ forgives us (Ephesians 4:3). Sometimes we get angry at God and blame him for things in our life. It can be hard but we also need to ask God to forgive us for blaming him. God wants the very best for us. God desires to bless us and when we hold onto anger, a grudge, or seek revenge, we don’t receive God’s blessings – instead, we become unhappy and life looks ugly.

Here is a story from the life of a lady named Corrie ten-boom. Corrie was in a prison camp in WW2.  Her sister died in that camp and when the war was over Corrie went home in Holland. One day Corrie gave a talk at church on forgiveness. One of the listeners was the very guard from the prison camp. After the war he’d become a Christian. He came to her when the talk was over and asked her for forgiveness. In her own words this was her experience:

“And still I stood there with the coldness clutching my heart. But forgiveness is not an emotion—I knew that too. Forgiveness is an act of the will, and the will can function regardless of the temperature of the heart. ‘… Help,’ I prayed silently. ‘I can lift my hand. I can do that much. You supply the feeling.’
“… woodenly, mechanically, I thrust my hand into the one stretched out to me. And as I did, an incredible thing took place. The current started in my shoulder, raced down my arm, sprang into our joined hands. And then this healing warmth seemed to flood my whole being, bringing tears to my eyes.

“I forgive you, brother!” I cried, ‘with all my heart!’ (http://www.familylifeeducation.org/gilliland/procgroup/CorrieTenBoom.htm)

How could Corrie do this? She chose to, and when she did, it was Corrie who received healing.
Not all acts of forgiveness are this huge, but even in the small things, letting go of angry and vengeful feelings is freeing. It stops us from collecting them all up, making a big anger ball inside that can make us sick.
Forgiveness starts with our will. I will or I will not ask God to forgive me for the nasty thoughts, mistakes and actions that miss the mark He sets out in the Bible. When we do receive God’s forgiveness, we are able to extend the loving act of forgiveness to others.

RECAP

What

Forgiveness is a choice. It means “I will let go of …” the bad thoughts and feelings about someone or something that happened.

Why

We forgive because Jesus first forgave us. God is a forgiving God - all we need do is ask. We forgive to be free from bad thoughts and emotions that can eventually, if left unaddressed, take the joy out of life and sometimes make us ill. We forgive to free other people and ourselves.

Who

We forgive everyone, others and ourselves. Sometimes when we hold onto anger towards God we need to ask God to forgive us too. He will.

How

Start with being sorry for real. Then decide to go to the person we hurt to ask for forgiveness. Let it go and don’t keep bringing it up. Sometimes we need to ask God to help us with forgiveness because it can be really hard.
If you have been hurt and the person is not sorry, forgive them anyway. You may want to ask for God’s help or talk to an adult you trust who can help.

CHECK IT OUT

Ephesians 4:3 “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”
Luke 15:1-20 - A series of parables that show God’s love and forgiveness
Luke 15:21-32 -The story of the prodigal son, whose father was so happy to have his son return, forgave him all.
Matthew 18:21-35 – How many times must we forgive?
Matthew 7:1-5 – Judging Others
Luke 19: 1-10 – Jesus befriends the despised tax collector.
Colossians 3:13 – Forgiveness is the way to go.
Article of interest: http://www.mayoclinic.org/forgiveness/art-20047692

Talk about the Bible

Guest post By Moira Gardener

The Bible is like a treasure map that gives us guidance in our lives.  It is a collection of different books written over a period of 1,000 years by many people who were guided by God. The oldest book is 3,500 years old.  Now that’s old!

The Bible is divided into two parts: the Old Testament and the New Testament.  The Old Testament, written in Israel long ago (with some books written in what is Iran today), tells us about the beginning of the universe, the history of the Jewish people, His message to them and God’s commandments.

The New Testament talks about Jesus’ life, the history of the early church, and the way we receive God’s forgiveness. Some of the books in the New Testament were also written in Israel.  Others were written in what we know today as Greece, Turkey, and maybe even Italy.

By reading the Bible, God’s treasure map, we can learn who God is and what is important to Him.   Reading the many interesting stories will give us practical tips on how to live life – how we should act, do good, pray, comfort others, and how Jesus saves us.  There is enough “treasure” in this book for everyone in the world – young and old, and the more a person studies it, the more treasure can be found.  We also learn about God’s love and life in heaven.  But the most important discovery will be a best friend named Jesus.

Once you find these treasures they can be yours forever and ever.  They cannot be stolen or destroyed.  But they cannot be given to you by another person.  You will need to dig for them yourself by spending time reading the Bible, praying to God and asking Him to show you the treasures He has for you.

Recap

What

• Collection of books
• Inspired by God 2 Timothy 3:16-17 Discusses what the bible is and how it can be used

When 

• Started 3,500 years ago 
• Written over a period of 1000 years 

Where

• Old Testament written in ancient Israel and some books in what we know today as Iraq
• New Testament also written in ancient Israel and in what is known today as Greece, Turkey and maybe even Italy.

Who

• The Bible is the word of God holding treasure for everyone.
• Written by people guided by God.

Why read the bible.

… to dig out treasures.
Here are a few, and I’m sure you can add your own:

• Find out how much God loves you
• Find out how to pray
• Find comfort in sad times
• The biggest reason to read the Bible is to find out for yourself what God has to say and not to hear it second hand.

Check it Out

• Psalm 19 7-11 discusses many of the treasures we can find.
• Timothy 3:16-17 tells us who inspired the Bible.
• James 1: 19-27 Talks about listening to and then doing God’s will.

Talk about Communion

I believe we are called to participate in a believer’s communion – and that means believers of all ages. We will not ever expect a child to partake of the elements, nor will we require that a child reach a predetermined age before they are allowed to participate. Rather, we support you as the parent(s) in explaining and determining whether your child is ready to take this step in their relationship with God.
Children will occasionally stay in the service to observe communion. The celebration of the Lord’s Supper is an essential aspect to a Christian’s walk, and so we want to facilitate the ability for children to observe and/or participate where appropriate. It is also important that children understand their place in the larger community of faith, and allowing them to stay in to observe helps foster a greater understanding of their role and contribution to the local church.
We would like to encourage you to talk to your children about communion, as part of an ongoing faith conversation, and it’s relevance to your child(ren)’s walk with God. Here are some tips on how to begin the conversation at home:
Start by reading 1 Corinthians 11:23-29 together. From there, ask some comprehension questions like, What was Jesus doing? Or What are we to remember? Then review all that communion helps us to remember:

1. That we are sinners saved by grace.
2. That Christ died on the cross for our sins because he loves us; that he rose on the third day and is going to return.
3. That through his sacrifice, he made a way for and wants a personal relationship with us.
4. That when we partake of the elements, we are to make sure we are not holding any offences with others.
5. That the elements are not literally his body and blood, nor are the elements a mid-service snack.

Communion is a sacrament we do to remember, but it is also as an act of worship and obedience. Talk to your kids about preparing themselves for participating in communion through the following actions:

1. We come with a humble and faithful attitude.
2. We seek forgiveness for our sins.
3. We reflect on what Christ did and how much he loves us.
4. We receive with reverence and thanks.

Other key verses to refer to:

• Luke 22:19-201
• Corinthians 10:16,17
• Matthew 26:26

Some things to consider when deciding if your child should participate:

1. A child who can confidently profess a faith that claims Christ as his/her Savior is welcome to participate in communion. A child who can confidently say he or she is not a Christian should feel comfortable to allow the elements to pass by.
2. If a child has shown no sign of thinking of themselves as a moral agent before God, it is appropriate to tell the child not to participate. This will differ between every child – we want to see kids understand who they are in relation to God, and be able to make their own decision about Christ. This can happen for some five year olds, and still some eleven year olds may not comprehend this until later.
3. Children need to be able to profess a faith that includes beliefs that:
   1. God sent his one and only son,
   2. Jesus, to earth as a baby.
   3. Jesus grew up and taught people about God’s love.
   4. Jesus who had never sinned, died on the cross for our sin because he loves us.Jesus rose from the dead and will return.

.:.character development.:.

Character development is essential to a good story. Do you have a favorite character? A Disney, Looneytoons, Star Wars or LOTR one, perhaps? When we see good character development (whether in a good or evil character)- we are drawn in. We are invited into a segment of their life, captivated by their circumstances and completely helpless but to watch how they respond. These characters are embodied or "put on" by actors who play the role convincingly. But at the end of the day, those actors go home, and are themselves. 

Character development is essential to a good person. Do you know people of good, strong character? A mentor, friend or family member perhaps? When we experience good character in others - we are drawn in. We are invitied to examine our own life, captivated by their conviction and completely empowered to watch and learn by how they respond.

What kind of character do you wear?

Make no mistake - even good character is something you put on. Colossians 3:12-17 tells us to put on a Christ-like character living out traits such as compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience BECAUSE we are God's chosen people. What we wear can help identify our allegiances. Emblems, logos and symbols speckle our clothing uniting us to something bigger. In the same way, our character is a testiment to who we submit ourselves to; we put on character traits that will associate us to something bigger.

Character. {Noun}
1. Moral or ethical quality.
2. Traits that form the individual nature of a person.
3. Qualities of honesty, courage and integrity.

Don't confuse character with reputation.
Character is what someone is;
reputation is what someone is thought to be by others.

"It is unfortunate that character development is not usually a section to fill out on a resume or university application, because we all know that it is one of the most important parts of any human. It will determine your successes, failures, relationships, and ministry to others more than your talents and abilities ever will." -Cheryl Crocker

What are you doing to develop your character?
Here are a few ideas to get you started thinking...
-Keep your word; don't make promises you can't keep.
-Develop as a person; grow your maturity spiritually, emotionally, mentally.
-Admit and learn from your mistakes; take ownership and make things right.
-Study and be shaped by the Word of God; The Bible teaches us about the best character!

"God doesn't say He dwells with the best singer or the one who preaches best or the one who has the best intellectual grasp of doctrine. He does say He dwells with those who walk uprightly and blamelessly and speak truth from the heart." -Cal MacFarlane

What are you spending your time developing?
Developing your God-given gifts is important to do... but if you don't develop your character, your gifts are an empty offering to the Lord. He cares more about the heart of the giver than the gifts themselves.

Character matters.

Character development is essential.

Go in peace to love and serve the Lord.:.

.:.Did you hear?.:.

Have you seen the show Friends? I've recently been watching some re-runs. About halfway through season 5, the character Jennifer Aniston plays, Rachel Green, makes a new years resolution not to gossip. There's a line in this particular episode where she wants to share that a co-worker became pregnant, but realizes that it would also fall under the gossip category and so decides to keep it to herself. It struck me as odd, because I don't think I've ever given a second thought to sharing if my friends are engaged or pregnant. Baby's are blessings and gifts from God, and weddings are joyful occassions, and I love to talk about happy things like these. But it dawned on me as a result of watching this character wrestle with gossip, that it really isn't my news to tell.

Gossip needn't be false to be evil -

there's a lot of truth that shouldn't be passed around.

~Frank A. Clark

I'm often tempted to justify my gossip or slander with these two false qualifications:

1. If I just tell one person...
2. I'm speaking truth, so it's not gossip...

Can you relate?

 There are many warnings in scripture about slander and gossip.

 James 4:11
Brothers and sisters, do not slander one another. Anyone who speaks against a brother or sister or judges them speaks against the law and judges it. When you judge the law, you are not keeping it, but sitting in judgment on it.


Proverbs 20:19
A gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid anyone who talks too much.


Proverbs 16:28
A perverse person stirs up conflict, and a gossip separates close friends.

The warnings and consequences are obvious. I need to strive to do better in this area. Will you join me?


Go in peace to love and serve the Lord.:.


This post is linked to WLW's Wednesday Link Up Party. Link up too!

.:.peer co-mentor.:.

Have you ever thought of yourself as a peer co-mentor?

David and Jonathan had a friendship that was worth praying for and pursuing.

It was meaningful and mutually empowering. 

David and Jonathan:

1.They shared: “Jonathan became one in spirit with David” (1 Samuel 18:1)

-a heart to follow God and do His will (14:6, 17:45-47)

-Interests and skills of war (background)

-the same environment in the house and army of Saul

2. They committed: “we have sworn friendship with each other in the name of the LORD” (20:42).

          -to God (Chapter 14)

          -to each other’s best: “Jonathan made a covenant with David because he loved him as himself” (18:3); “Whatever you want me to do, I’ll do for you” (20:4)

          -to each other’s future and family (20:12-17, 42).

3. They experienced:

          -Protection by watching out for each other (Ch. 20)

          -Openness and trust – they could share anything (20:3)

          -Friendship and fellowship (20:42, and generally implied throughout their story)

          -Strength and encouragement in times of difficult: “Jonathan went to David at Horesh and helped him find strength in God” (23:16)

          -Love that was committed to the other’s best, even if it meant personal sacrifice

                   “Don’t be afraid ….My father Saul will not lay a hand on you. You will be king … I will be second to you” (23:17)

          -Sharpening and challenge to follow God

Do you have a friendship like this? I bet each area could always use a bit of strengthening. I’d encourage you to spend a few moments thinking about what area you are doing well in and what area you’d like to focus your energies on. If you’re brave enough, tell your friend what you see them succeeding in. As good friends, it can be tempting to allow suspicion and distrust to form by focusing on your differences. Instead, focus on what you have in common: a common faith, dear and close friendships and a desire to grow into all that God has for you.

Do you realize you are a peer co-mentor?

Go in peace to love and serve the Lord.:.

.:.Disciplining Kids.:.

This past summer after a week of kid's camp, a leader older than I, and parent himself, approached me and said, "Sarah, you're really gifted at disciplining kids."


Thank you, I think?

It got me thinking.... the point of discipline is restoration, not humiliation. Disciplining a child in the moment out of frustration you're experiencing, just because you need a few moment's peace is not the way to go.

That's reacting instead of responding.

When kids react poorly to a sitution, we often find ourselves asking why they are behaving that way. Perhaps they have forgotten who they are.

"We all have moments of spiritual amnesia where we forget we are sons/daughters of the King. It's not a matter of head knowledge but of the heart." -Michelle Anthony

If we're honest, our own poor life choices stem from insecurity, where we too have forgotten who we are, and our worth in the eyes of the King. And further honesty would admit that at one time, we were where those kids are.

Disciplining a child without providing a glimmer of hope about who they were created to be is pointless. Children know right from wrong - especially when they have been wronged.

The goal rather should be partnering with the work God is doing, helping each child see their potential and empowering them to make better and wiser decisions as they grow.

As a parent or children's ministry worker, you have a golden opportunity to facilitate and foster Biblical Discipline:
- a discipline that brings them closer to God rather than pushing them away;
- a discipline that embraces rather than shuns;
- a discipline that extends grace, over legalism.


"Grace understands that the only real solution for our children’s sin is the work of Christ on their behalf. . .  Legalism uses outside forces to help children maintain their moral walk. Their strength is based on the environment they live in. Grace, on the other hand, sees the strength of children by what is inside them—more specifically, Who is inside them." - Tim Kimmel


I've found the conscious parenting page on Facebook to be a great resource for similar daily reminders and some tips.


Go in peace to love and serve the Lord.:.

By The Fruit

When I was younger, I used to think that God was up in heaven eating grapes while He watched our lives on a big screen TV. I figured that if He could see everything I was doing, and if He knew everything about me, then there must be cameras on me at all times. It then, somehow, stood to reason that for every good and bad thing I did, I got a check mark or an 'x' by my name on the whiteboard he held in front of Him. Where did I pick up these ideas?!

Over the years, I've come to realize that He is much more involved than I could have ever imagined. And He knows me more intimately than I know myself. Yet, when He invites me to dance with Him, I withdraw and protest, "But Lord, you don't really know who you're asking. I have stains and blemishes and I'll just embarrass you. You don't want to dance with me." As if He didn't know my faults. And He gently extends His arm to me and asks me to dance again, saying, "Sarah, I know those things, even better than you do, and I still want to dance with you."

This picture of an invitation to dance absolutely astounds me. How can He be so loving and gentle and pursue me with such patience? Especially if He knows how filthy and unworthy I am!
Why is it so hard to accept grace? For me, it's because I have to remove my pride, accept that I'm a sinner saved only by grace, and then accept that God is a bigger 'person' than me because I wouldn't have the love to do for others what He does for me. And that process is hard, because I'm a selfish, sinful person - I was born that way. (Reference to Lady Ga-Ga not intended.)

"The Lord works by the fruit of His Spirit." -Cal MacFarlane

And what are those fruit? They are found in Galations 5 starting at verse 22.
Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.

The Lord works by the Fruit of His Spirit. Therefore, what truly stands to reason, is that He is gentle and patient with us. There is no scoreboard, no cut-throat competition. He lovingly works through those characteristics and develops them in me.

By using the very traits themselves to work them in me, I experience what the fruit I'm bearing should look like in my life. I need to follow the Spirit's example. So whether I'm mentoring youth or teaching kids, I need to be participating in the work that God is already doing in their lives. I need to gently and lovingly come alongside in partnership with God. It is not my responsibility to make sure someone converts to my faith or my opinion of what they should be doing with their life. Instead, I need to bear the fruit of the Spirit, following the example of the Spirit's work in my life: patiently, gently and lovingly coming alongside and speaking truth.

God would rather dance with me than watch me from a distance. He would rather show kindness, goodness and self-control than their counterparts. My beloved works by His expectations.

Oh how He loves us so!

Go in peace to love and serve the Lord.:.

an empowering perspective

The following are quotes from a collection of speeches that Michelle Anthony gave at the Upswing Children's Ministry Conference hosted in Edmonton, AB, Canada in Sept. 2011. The quotes were directed to children's ministry workers but I think they have just as much relevance to parents today. These snippets of her conversation caught my heart's attention and I haven't been the same since.


1. The mind and soul learn differently.


2. Your job in a child's life is to nurture and train the soul.


3. This generation is anemic in soul care. We are soul doctors.


4. The work is not ours, that is up to the Lord. But we need to allow the divine to flow through us to meet those we encounter: our kids, friends, other parents, etc.


5. If you know nothing satifies like Jesus, a lack of faith will fear kids taking part of the world. I don't mean have a lack of boundaries or rules, but if you know they won't be satisfied with the world, why are you scared to let them have a taste of it?


6. Stop saying to kids "Don't love the world". Instead offer kids something more compelling that they can do, like "Love Jesus."


7. When I hoist my sail, I am cooperating with the wind. If I want to change my direction, I take my sail down. Are we cooperating with the Spirit and the work He is doing in our kids' lives?


8. It is so rare to have someone cooperate with the Spirit in this crooked and depraved generation. So much so that when it happens, it glows!


9. God redeems everything. His wind is always blowing.


10. Sometimes we don't turn to God with issues because we think they are too trivial for Him. How that breaks His heart.


11. The end goal is faith. Faith is what Jesus will be looking for when He comes back.
Faith is 1. Conviction 2. Personal surrender of heart 3. Corresponding conduct based on the first two.


12. We want to see kids know God's voice, desire to obey it, and obey it in the power of His Spirit.


13. Inheritance - Passed down - Artifacts - Dishes - Objects with stories - Sentimentality. How are you posturing your heart so as to pass on your faith? ... We need to be in constant communication about everything with God; He is in charge. We need a posture of dependance. Passing on faith from generation to generation was God's idea and design.


14. Where you aim your heart and what you believe determines the outcome of your life for eternity.surrendered life to obedience, where we put God's word into action; a life of being hearers and doers of the word.


15. When we talk about faith, we think to the house built on the rock. What is the rock? It's a surrendered life of obedience marked by putting God's word into action by being hearers and doers of the word.

Go in peace to love and serve the Lord.:.

Aggressive Little Boys

Boys and girls were created differently; it's not rocket science. Both genders were made in God's image and when brought together, make a beautiful picture of completeness.

In babysitting, internships and life experiences, I've noticed the aggressive tendencies of little (and bigger) boys.

The Bible says to "love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind and with all your strength" (Mk. 12:30). Jesus says this is the greatest commandment and is to be prioritized over all others.

Did you catch the last point? We are to love God with our strength. What does it mean to love God with our strength?

Strength of heart: Loving God by being willing to endure all things; loving God by trusting in Him and His plans that exceed our own.

Strength of soul: Loving God by knowing His voice, desiring to obey His call and following through in obedience in the power of His Spirit.

Strength of mind: Loving God by using our free will to obey His precepts; loving God by growing in knowledge of Him and applying His wisdom to our lives; loving God by using our creativity.

Strength of strength: Loving God with the physical strength we possess; loving God by serving others; loving God by protecting others.

Strength is not a negative trait; it’s how you use your strength that matters.

If you have little boys you are trying to raise up to be godly men, who will stand firm in their faith and protect their families, I suggest you teach them to harness their strength and to use it to honor God.

Don't condemn their strength, but rather the poor ways they use it. In a moment where they have mistakenly used their strength for harm, rather than saying it is bad or wrong, say, “That's not what your strength is for”. Teach boys to praise God with all their strength.

As a boy moves from childhood to manhood, they need to be taught how to use their strength. Boys need to be affirmed in their strength. They were created to love adventure, to want to slay dragons and win a princess’ heart.

Loving God with all our strength is a command and calling for both genders. But it looks different when it’s lived out. And that’s a very good thing.

Go in peace to love and serve the Lord.:.

This post is linked to Growing Home's Teach Me Tuesdays. Link up too!

This post is linked to WLW's Wednesday Link Up Party. Link up too!

.:.fighting on the way to church.:.

"Why do we fight on the way to church

and not the grocery store?

It's the same mini-van!"

-Pastor Steve Aitkins

I have a theory. It's not a very profound idea, it's just a trend I've noticed: Doing things that are good for you takes extra motivation. Exercise .:. Entertaining guests .:. Eating healthy .:. Entering worship with a prepared heart on a Sunday morning.... the list continues.

Ephesians 6¹² says "our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms." So why are we surprised? Of course the enemy wants to stop you from fellowshipping with other believers and being fed spiritually. For the most part, he doesn't care about the physical food, so you can go to the grocery store in the same mini-van, but WW3 threatens to break out in your car on Sunday mornings.

Exhausted and worn out parents, I see you drop your kids off in the Children's Ministry. I see the effort it took to get there five minutes late instead of the usual ten. I encourage you to persevere. I don't have kids myself, but I remember arguing with my sister and parents on the way to church.... from the fight at home about wearing nylons, to the one in the driveway about which sister had the front seat last time and got it this time to the battle over my social life while on the drive to church.  

My parents are incredible. No matter how argumentative we were as girls/ siblings/ teens/ every other excuse, my parents recognized the importance of having a prepared heart prior to entering church. They did everything in their power to mediate the important arguments, and disperse the unimportant ones.

Here are some tips I gleaned from my Mom and Dad that turned our family's Sunday mornings from Argument Avenue to Cease-fire Court:

1. We listened to music on the way to church, usually worship music.:.It was Adventures in Odyssey when I was younger. My sister and I LOVED that series!

2. My parents asked questions to generate and control the discussion. These steered away from controversial subjects and were light and fun.

3. My parents used the layaway technique. They don't call it that, but it's what I came to call it when I saw them use it. On the way to church, if a controversial topic emerged and tempers started to rise, they said, "This is obviously important to you that we discuss this, but we don't have time on the way to church, why don't you bring it up after church for us to talk about?" And those times when it did need to be talked about, we then had the time to devote to it. But most often, the urgency my teenage self thought was there on that particular topic really didn't exist, and I didn't bring it up after church.

{As the parent, you set the tone and the standard for what is acceptable. You don't need to engage in that moment. You know that, right?}

4. My parents made Sunday mornings special with special breakfasts we were only allowed on the weekends, and they too would get dressed up, have their Bibles by the door ready to go. Their enthusiasm and example {eventually} were contagious.

{Your relationship with God really is where it begins.}

Don't settle for arriving halfway through the first song.

And don't be disappointed when you do.

Hang in there. It's worth it.

Go in peace to love and serve the Lord.:.

This post is linked to TimeWarp Wife's Titus 2sday Link up too!
This post is linked to Growing Home's Teach me Tuesdays. Link up too!

This post is linked to WLW's Wednesday Link Up Party. Link up too!

.:.love-led mentoring.:.

Speaking the truth to others in love is hard.
It is so important that our words are love-led and not love-less.

Remember that all people are on a journey.
Look for and seize teachable moments.
Recognize that God is working in you and others in the difficult moments.

Our role is often just to help others see where God is working in them,
so as to encourage them and see them grow.

Keep perspective.
Our battles are spiritual. Christ has victory.

Keep focused on God, wait on Him.
Point others to Him in good and bad times.

Encourage those in difficult times to listen to the Lord who is speaking to them and to soften their hearts as part of their response.

Always speak truth.
Remind them of truth so they will hear God more easily and have lies silenced.

Pray.

Go in peace to love and serve the Lord.:.

.:.Three Strategies to Conflict Management.:.

When a situation arises, I find there are three strategies to conflict management one can choose.

One approach would be to magnify the issue. We can become so focused on the problem, replaying it over and over in our heads, analyzing every angle. This has the very real potential to overwhelm us and makes working through the issue daunting or even paralyzing. It focuses our attention on all the possible affects any action could have, rather than the issue itself. Magnifying the issue can take a toll on our performance in other areas and situations too.

Another option one may choose would be to minimize the problem. This tactic ignores the effects the problem has had on us and others. This buries the issue, which results in buried feelings that surface later in possibly even more intense and harmful ways.

In the moment, I find myself gravitating to one of these strategies, but I’ve discovered, like many before me, that there is a third option. When both of these extremes are held in tension, we are able to focus on the issue with perspective.

We are then able to acknowledge both the affects and effects of the situation. This allows the issue to be dealt with in a healthy way and most likely timely manner as well.

This third option is what I would like to strive for….healthy conflict management. I don’t think I know anyone who likes having conflict with peers, colleagues, friends or family. I know I certainly do not. But when I magnify or minimize the issue, I find that the conflict isn’t resolved well. I’ve learned, or rather, am learning, to address the issue head on, no matter how uncomfortable or messy it is.

In this way, I form healthy habits of reaction behavior in conflict management. These patterns are helpful to me and others, both now and as I journey forward in my life with my career, family and friends.

Let's be seeking habits that are healthy, helpful and honoring.

Go in peace to love and serve the Lord.:.

And who knows?

Do you have core verses that seem to pop up repeatedly the course of your lifetime? Do you have any verses that the Lord speaks to you time and time again? Do you have life passages that guide, comfort or challenge you that you continually reflect on through all seasons?

Here is one of mine: Esther 4:14
“…And who knows but that you have come to your royal position for such a time as this?”

In summary, “Esther becomes a Queen in the harem of King Ahasuerus and is used by God to deliver the Jews from a plot to annihilate them. Esther is a story of courage, faithfulness and victory that points to Christ” (Paul Leavenworth). I love reading the story of Esther for just these reasons.

I find that I often question why I am in certain locations, situations, relationships, etc. But the Lord uses Esther’s story to remind me that He is in control and has orchestrated these things. He is leading me on a journey that even I am unable to dream for myself.

When the Lord opens doors to opportunities, I eagerly accept the new challenge. But once it becomes hard or difficult, I may tend to ask God why He placed me there. And He answers, “…and who knows but that you have come to your position for such a time as this?” He gently reminds me over and over through His scripture that I have influence and resources, and I should seize the present opportunities to speak truth and be a light because it could be the very reason I am there.

And then I hear God chuckle. He smiles at me and says, “Sarah, ‘As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts (Is. 55:9)’. There is more going on than you see.”

I'm learning to see and live the implications of that.

So whether you’re a student, fast food employee, CEO, Mom or a combination of these roles, the Lord is pursuing you. You have influence, and you have opportunity in the time you have been given, even now in your current role(s).

Your relationship with God is precious, as is the time He has given you. What is He speaking to you? What are your core life passages? These passages that repeat themselves in your life are probably related to your gifts and calling. I’d encourage you to take some time to explore this a bit more.

Go in peace to love and serve the Lord.:.

Gratitude on the Go

It's summertime (love!) and I've been doing some travelling recently. I took a road trip across three provinces and back. I was blessed to be able to stay at friend's and family's homes along the way. Yes, it saved me some money, but I was also really blessed to stay in other's homes and receive amazing hospitality.

It occurred to me as I travelled from house to house that there is such a thing as Travel Ettiquette. You have influence wherever you go. Here are a few tips/ideas for taking an attidue of gratitude with you on the road:

*Sometimes I arrive with a small bouquet. I stop at a road side stand or a grocery store on the way, and give the bouquet to the host as an initial thank you.

*Offer to help with meal preparation (from chopping carrots to setting the table). This is a kind gesture, even if they don't take you up on the offer. In this case, stay and make conversation. It can be tempting sometimes to take extra time to "freshen up" and steal some moments away, especially on long trips when travel can be tiring. Resist the temptation and take the opportunities to show you care and are grateful for the sacrifice they're making for you.

*Don't be picky. Whether it's with food or accomodation, don't stick your nose up. On the other hand, if your opinion is asked, be honest. Don't say "you're fine with anything" if you truly don't like one of the two options provided. No host wants to serve you something you won't enjoy.

*Upon leaving, I strip the bed and fold the sheets. If I stayed on a hide-a-bed, I put it back together. I fold the towels I used and place them beside the sheets. That way, it saves my host a little time when they clean up from my stay.

*Pack and give thank you cards. I keep a package in my suitcase, even when it's in storage, just so I don't forget. Whenever I leave a house after my stay, I leave a card thanking them for their generosity and hospitality. I place it on top of the folded sheets.

These are a few of my tips on how to be a good guest. Some I learned from my mother and cousin and others I picked up from guests of my own.  What would you add?

Go in peace to love and serve the Lord.:.